I finally tried to sleep and found that it wasn't difficult, since I was drunk on green dragon and exhausted emotionally and physically.I had no idea why Tommy had effected me so much. He wasn't the first person I had seen killed. He wasn't even the first one I had personally killed. He wasn't even close. Hell I had tortured people to death, but I had always thought I was on god's side.The difference was I might have been doing it to save my own ass. This time I might have been doing it to shut him up and that was a bad thing, if I did it for that reason. Then I thought about it again. Jamison had given us all the same information Tommy was offering me. So I didn't allow anyone to get away by killing him. Even if I hadn't shot him, he pointed his gun and me and Liam was going to do it anyway. Hell before Tommy hit the ground, Liam had blown his face off. Screw it, I thought. Then I turned over and forgave myself before I drifted off to sleep.The next morning was Saturday and the news. During that Christmas break, we spent nearly every day together. I met and ate with his family the day after Christmas and fell in love with all of them immediately. Two weeks later, standing on my door steps, Randy told me he loved me. I was sixteen and wasn’t sure I knew what love was yet so my response was less than romantic. I looked at him and replied, “Already??” A month later, I whispered “I love you” to Randy as he kissed me goodnight. He acted like I had been saying that all along and just said, “I love YOU.” Over the next several months, we fell head over heels in love. We carpooled to school together, we had class together, we walked to class together ….and on the weekends we were inseparable. Everyone in school laughed at us because we were ALWAYS together. You couldn’t find one of us without the other. I know it’s hard to imagine at just sixteen years old, but it’s true. I knew then that I loved Randy, I just never knew how much more I could love him. In February of.
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